I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
