i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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