I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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