dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
