Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
