just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
