That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
