If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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