so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
