I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I look better un-naked...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
