So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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