Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
