it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
