hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
