I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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