i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
