would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
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I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
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It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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