"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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