I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
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