i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
