Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
