I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
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