In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
