I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
