If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
