Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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