I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize