is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!