Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.

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  (678): Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house. http://tfl.nu/flvn
  Replies (7) Good night (3155) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."

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  (949): just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will." http://tfl.nu/pn0l
  Replies (35) Good night (21728) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.

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  (804): Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush. http://tfl.nu/5pf3
  Replies (13) Good night (5113) Bad night (1561) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"

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  (443): her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does" http://tfl.nu/16y8
  Replies (16) Good night (1703) Bad night (6481) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.

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  (605): dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce. http://tfl.nu/vye8
  Replies (20) Good night (4230) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.

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  (780): I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/raiw
  Replies (9) Good night (2212) Bad night (1170) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up

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  (618): She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up http://tfl.nu/rljs
  Replies (2) Good night (832) Bad night (2198) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast

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  (+61): I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast http://tfl.nu/icj5
  Replies (6) Good night (2334) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.

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  (407): you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations. http://tfl.nu/xedp
  Replies (15) Good night (2103) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.

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  (931): Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this. http://tfl.nu/inch
  Replies (8) Good night (4059) Bad night (638)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty

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  (303): I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty http://tfl.nu/j05t
  Replies (3) Good night (676) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.

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  (724): He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/qqw5
  Replies (7) Good night (901) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula

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  (702): Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems (702): I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula http://tfl.nu/2l23
  Replies (8) Good night (1093) Bad night (743)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester

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  (216): blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester http://tfl.nu/2842
  Replies (9) Good night (1187) Bad night (183) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha

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  (707): I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha http://tfl.nu/s6o5
  Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (166) Order T-Shirt

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