You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION