Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I smell stomach acid.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
