Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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