maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
sex in a hospital.. check
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
