Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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