ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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