i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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