So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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