worst night to have a conscience
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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