You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
