he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
All I want is dick and wine.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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