it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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