he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
