I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
