Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
