I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
