you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
