It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
