can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
