No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
