just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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