Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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