You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize