I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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