Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
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It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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