Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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