So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
