We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
