you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
