he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
