I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
