man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
