Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize