based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
