My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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